[0.0s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.3s] It sounds like everybody had a great night and you now find yourselves waking up.
[7.0s] You find a note. Meet the group for breakfast at the Yawning Court.
[13.2s] I brought you all here today. Wait, did I bring you all here today?
[16.5s] You brought us here?
[17.7s] I am breaking up the band.
[19.4s] What?
[20.1s] I have been recruited by the higher-ups in the airship squadrons to lead a group into battle.
[29.2s] Is this true, Flammikins? That doesn't sound right.
[32.2s] We're breaking up the band. I've been asked to join the Arcane Brotherhood's front.
[37.0s] When it comes to the final battle, we will be there providing support to you and to everybody else.
[43.5s] What about you and the airships, Flammikins? Are you guys going to be there too?
[47.1s] I'm pretty sure. There was some talk about arranging how we're going to do this final attack here.
[54.6s] They just seem to be waiting on something.
[57.0s] Thaddeus and Flammikins head out of the Yawning Portal Inn.
[62.2s] Freeze frame, silhouetted against a bright day.
[66.7s] A tall Thaddeus, a tiny Flammikins leaving the Yawning Portal Inn.
[75.3s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. We're at D&D 5th Edition Actual Play Podcast,
[79.0s] and I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More, and with me today is Amy More.
[83.5s] Me again. I play the Amastasia.
[87.8s] Tom Laird. I'm here too. I play Flintfire Beard.
[93.2s] Carla Johnson. I am also here again, and I play Nulara Moonbrook.
[99.4s] Welcome to the game, everybody. Thank you.
[102.6s] Thanks for trying this, Russ. I just thought I'd give it a whirl.
[105.8s] Want to play a little game? Yeah, it did. It was a little...
[108.5s] It was kind of creepy, so I guess well done.
[110.6s] Play a game. Yeah, no.
[112.5s] Want to play a game, bitch? It's not toilet paper.
[116.5s] It's duct tape. That's good.
[119.9s] Yeah, don't worry. We won't do that again. That's fine.
[122.8s] How's everybody doing? Good.
[124.7s] Good. They're doing pretty good.
[126.2s] Pretty good. Tom's eating cookies.
[128.1s] Yeah. Tom baked these cookies. Oh my god, they're so good.
[133.0s] This is mean. This is mean to everyone.
[134.8s] No one's getting anything out of this except for Tom.
[137.4s] Oh, I'm getting so much out of this. Please. Please continue.
[140.2s] I'm just going to pump him up a little bit because he made these cookies.
[143.8s] They're oatmeal cookies. They're so chewy and delicious,
[146.8s] and they must have a little bit of sea salt or something in them
[149.5s] because they have that... They were so good.
[154.2s] Can you share the recipe, Tom? No. You know what, Tom?
[157.0s] I certainly can. I don't want to make them.
[159.4s] January 18th to 21st, we're going to be in Seattle at PodCon 2.
[164.4s] You bring four fucking cookies. Every recipe you make,
[167.0s] you have to make another one to bring to that event.
[169.8s] If you think that I didn't Google can I bring cookies on an airplane,
[173.2s] then you are mistaken because I 100% fucking Googled that
[177.0s] because I will totally bring cookies to Seattle.
[179.1s] Of course he will. He's very nice.
[180.6s] You can totally bring cookies on a plane.
[182.5s] You totally can.
[183.0s] You know how much food I bring to feed Addison when we fly?
[186.0s] Yeah, just not liquid food. Otherwise, bring as much as you want.
[189.8s] I couldn't bring the fucking vanilla or anything else that I need to bring,
[195.5s] but everything else seems fair game, so no, I will bring those.
[198.4s] Once they're mixed in that in that cookie, beautiful cookie form,
[202.7s] cocktail form.
[203.9s] Holy shit. Well, I'm excited for bacon.
[206.2s] Like, I mean, I was excited for PodCon before.
[209.0s] But OK, guys, OK, listeners, you don't know how long it's been
[212.9s] since I've had Tom's baking.
[215.7s] I don't want time, hey, like a year and a half because
[220.4s] didn't you bring stuff to the in-game play that I would have been?
[224.6s] Oh, yeah, you did.
[225.9s] Yeah. So it was a year and a half year
[228.2s] and a half, like August, September of last year.
[230.9s] That's a long time ago.
[232.2s] Yeah, that's a long time.
[233.1s] It was a long time considering how often he bakes and how much
[235.8s] Carly gets to enjoy it.
[236.8s] How much he shows us his baking.
[238.7s] Yeah, but I'm not at all bitter or jealous.
[241.8s] I'm real.
[243.0s] I think this is my favorite cookie recipe that I've ever baked.
[247.2s] So I think it's like my go to now.
[249.4s] It's going to be my one that I always make.
[251.5s] They're very good.
[252.3s] And you can pretend they're healthy because they're oatmeal cookies.
[255.6s] That's right. The fiber in those things.
[257.2s] Exactly. They're so good for you.
[259.1s] There's not even like chocolate chips or anything, but they are baller.
[263.5s] Well, that's the thing.
[264.2s] Like it's a plain oatmeal cookie, but like it is the best goddamn cookie.
[269.0s] Yeah, they're so good.
[270.6s] Welcome to our podcast.
[271.6s] It's been a podcast.
[273.4s] This is our Tom Bakes podcast.
[276.9s] I would totally do a baking podcast.
[279.2s] Are you kidding me?
[280.6s] It would not be a good medium for it, but I would totally do it.
[284.0s] I mean, is it less of a good medium than a cooking show?
[287.4s] Like you still don't get to eat it.
[288.6s] You get to look at it, I guess.
[292.7s] But the thing about food is not the visual, is it?
[296.2s] You got to describe it.
[297.0s] You got to get those descriptor words out there.
[298.9s] I think they would argue that food is like visual smell.
[304.2s] So olfactory and then taste.
[307.8s] Now, Tom, can you come up with enough recipes to fuel a like weekly post
[312.5s] or a fortnightly post on Patreon?
[317.6s] I mean, I probably could.
[319.5s] I've got a lot of like go-to fun things that I make every now and then.
[324.7s] Even if he just started doing like the things that we've talked about in the podcast.
[328.9s] And it's true.
[329.7s] Because like the cheesecakes and the cookies and the cookies with the little scones.
[334.6s] There's been so many things that you've I mean, we've talked about a lot.
[339.0s] Okay, I'm unreasonably unhappy right now.
[342.0s] We've talked about cookies for too long.
[344.8s] At the very least, on Patreon, we'll post one Tom recipe by the time this comes out.
[350.2s] Just to say, you know, just to fuel that.
[352.5s] And then maybe we'll post that regular.
[354.9s] And you can join us on Patreon.
[356.2s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[357.8s] And you can get all of Tom's recipes or at least that one.
[361.4s] Maybe I'll do the gluten free peanut butter cookies.
[364.0s] Just in case there's any gluten sensitive people out there.
[366.6s] I like it.
[367.8s] We're appealing to all audiences.
[369.9s] But also when you're a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you.
[373.0s] Like our lucky episode dedication person patron today.
[377.7s] Dedicatee Nate Hacking.
[381.5s] Nate, Nate, you're awesome.
[384.1s] Thanks for being so awesome.
[386.6s] And you're very well dressed right now.
[388.3s] Well done, Nate.
[389.4s] Extremely well dressed.
[390.2s] Go.
[391.5s] He's got an awesome weather.
[392.0s] First thing up in the morning and just boom.
[395.3s] Hair's looking good.
[397.4s] Beard or no beard is looking great.
[398.8s] That's what I was going to say.
[399.8s] Hair or no hair looks fantastic.
[403.2s] I mean, it looks great.
[405.6s] Maybe you got eyebrows that look super great.
[408.6s] I hear your eyebrows should be on fleek.
[411.7s] Mine are not.
[412.3s] I don't know if they do.
[413.0s] Mine are not on fleek.
[414.4s] I don't know.
[415.7s] Mine are very large.
[416.6s] The kids I was talking to this summer still said it.
[419.8s] Oh, okay.
[420.2s] Eyebrows are still a very big deal.
[422.3s] Oh, eyebrows are definitely still a big deal.
[424.2s] I didn't know if on fleek was still a thing people were saying or ever said.
[428.0s] I feel like that was all just a giant trick to make old people say it and sound dumb,
[432.6s] to be honest.
[433.3s] Just a big internet meme.
[433.5s] A big Mandela thing.
[434.9s] What are you saying?
[436.6s] Well, I mean, I said it too and I didn't feel comfortable saying it.
[441.5s] It felt wrong every time.
[442.9s] It did feel wrong.
[443.4s] It does.
[444.0s] Saying on fleek feels wrong every time.
[447.8s] Damn you, young people.
[449.1s] Exactly.
[450.1s] Making up words.
[450.9s] Get off my lawn with your words.
[454.1s] Just imagine a kid running down the street with a sign and a stake and just
[458.5s] staking fleek onto someone's leg.
[460.7s] Your words and your fortnight dances.
[463.7s] How dare you?
[464.3s] Oh my god, Addy.
[465.6s] Addy, we're walking down the street.
[467.0s] She goes, mom.
[468.5s] Mom.
[469.8s] What?
[471.0s] She's like, I have to teach you how to floss.
[474.9s] I'm like, right now?
[476.2s] She's like, yeah, right now.
[477.4s] And she totally breaks down.
[479.2s] She's like this and she swings her arms to one side and then she's like,
[482.5s] and then like this and one side's behind her and then she's like,
[485.4s] and then like this and then like this.
[488.2s] She's like, do you got it?
[489.0s] I was like, yeah.
[489.9s] And then she's like, now like this.
[493.5s] My best friend's kids are eight and six and I swear they just are doing it
[497.1s] constantly.
[498.3s] Like all the time and it is great.
[501.4s] They're adorable.
[502.4s] They look so crazy.
[503.6s] I see her doing it sometimes too.
[505.5s] Like, oh, I guess if I had kids, I'd be more hip.
[508.8s] I'd like, no, because it's the only way I know about those things.
[513.0s] I don't have the coordination.
[514.5s] That kick thing, like where you jump up on one leg and you kick the other leg out
[519.2s] and you kick your, you pump your arm at the same time?
[521.9s] I don't know that one, but yeah.
[523.6s] No, you failed at that one.
[524.6s] We were looking at a house and we were walking to it.
[526.4s] She goes, mom, can you do this?
[527.5s] And then I did it perfectly.
[528.6s] And she was like, well, good job.
[533.9s] Dad, can you do it?
[535.0s] No.
[536.0s] But she tried to do it too fast and literally like fell on her ass.
[542.1s] She got up looking pretty embarrassed.
[544.6s] I was like, what just happened?
[546.2s] Did the ground just drop from out from under you?
[549.6s] Totally.
[550.1s] Hey, wait a minute.
[550.7s] Do we play D&D on this podcast?
[551.9s] I don't even know.
[552.6s] I think we talked about D&D.
[553.4s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[554.9s] Wait, we've already said that.
[555.8s] We're a D&D 5th edition actual play podcast.
[558.2s] Complete recap.
[558.8s] Fuck it.
[559.3s] Let's play D&D.
[560.2s] There we go.
[561.1s] Yay.
[562.6s] All right, so all your friends left you last episode.
[565.4s] I mean, that's a way to phrase it.
[567.0s] It's a bit harsh.
[571.4s] Our friends got great opportunities to go and
[574.5s] fight the battle in a different way, and we totally supported that.
[578.4s] We are happy and supportive of their career advancement.
[582.8s] Absolutely.
[584.2s] So where do we find Flint, Thea, Nularaaaa, and Donnie at this current moment?
[588.2s] Should we go and check in?
[591.7s] I'm thinking we should maybe go check in.
[594.2s] Like back to the inn?
[597.1s] Yeah, like to the hotel.
[600.0s] Perfect.
[600.7s] What about the motel?
[602.4s] Oh, no, like maybe we should check in with Leosin.
[606.5s] Yeah, because Protanther like dropped us off, right?
[609.3s] And then we just like went to the hotel, went to a party.
[612.7s] You went and checked in with Leosin and then partied.
[615.0s] Yeah, Leosin didn't want to party and we said we'd be back
[617.6s] because there's a lot going on.
[618.8s] Maybe we should go back.
[621.2s] Yeah, I guess.
[623.0s] I mean, honestly, we need some direction about what we need to do.
[627.0s] Well, we need to go to the Wizards of the Fay.
[629.4s] Yeah, and we need to figure out how we're going to do that.
[632.7s] Yeah, they need to like.
[634.7s] They need to get us there somehow, right?
[636.4s] Because it's very far.
[637.1s] I dream of genius there.
[638.6s] Exactly.
[640.0s] Are there trains in this world?
[641.4s] If only there was a train we could just catch.
[643.5s] That'd be so great.
[644.6s] Like some sort of murder hobos.
[652.6s] I thought it was a typo.
[654.6s] I was like, that can't be what he means.
[657.4s] That's exactly what I meant.
[659.8s] I get my little red and white polka dot.
[663.7s] Bindle.
[664.2s] Chief.
[664.6s] Your bindle.
[666.2s] Yep, and I'm going to wrap it around my stick.
[669.4s] Yeah, and carry your little.
[672.4s] Find a train to take me to the Fay, the Wizards of the Fay,
[676.2s] and I'll see you guys because you guys are going to transport there
[678.6s] in like a blink of an eye.
[679.4s] I'll see you in like six months.
[684.3s] Overland travel, it's a bitch.
[685.9s] Yeah, they're kidding.
[687.9s] Who does it anymore anyway?
[689.7s] Well, not us.
[690.7s] We're the decimators of dragons, right?
[693.5s] I don't walk with my own feet.
[696.4s] We go see Leosin.
[698.3s] You make your way back up and into Leosin's chambers,
[702.0s] and he's writing notes currently as you enter the room.
[707.0s] One day I expect we're going to walk in
[708.8s] and he's going to be like sleeping on his desk.
[710.7s] Yeah, it seems.
[712.0s] Wake up with like ink dried on his face.
[714.6s] And only because he's been working so hard,
[716.3s] not because he's lazy, but just he just fell asleep
[718.9s] at his desk.
[720.0s] Seems reasonable.
[722.6s] Sound pen still in hand.
[724.7s] When the door bangs open, he'll be like,
[729.0s] keeps writing.
[730.2s] Exactly.
[731.9s] Hi, Leosin.
[733.3s] Oh, hello.
[734.3s] Hello.
[735.8s] He finishes writing something.
[738.9s] How was your harvest festival?
[742.4s] We ended up naked.
[744.8s] So good.
[746.2s] I mean, I didn't end up naked,
[747.8s] but I guess everyone else did.
[751.0s] Let's not say you didn't.
[753.2s] We did not do well in that haunted house.
[757.6s] Oh, right, right.
[759.4s] I thought I was thinking after the haunted house.
[761.7s] Oh, yes, we did all end up.
[763.3s] Yep, I stand corrected.
[765.8s] We did all end up naked.
[769.8s] How about you?
[771.3s] Did you end up naked?
[772.8s] You didn't go to the party,
[773.9s] but I don't know your life, Leosin.
[777.0s] Just a dumbfounded look on Leosin's face right now.
[784.4s] No, I mean, aside from removing my clothes to put more clothes on,
[790.5s] I was not naked for any mentionable period.
[794.7s] All right, so we were all naked.
[796.2s] Okay, I mean, happens to most of us most days.
[799.1s] Long story short, I guess, yep.
[800.6s] So we were thinking we should go to the Wizards of Faye.
[808.8s] Right, yes, that is something that needs to happen.
[814.3s] Okay, are you ready for that?
[819.3s] What do you think we need to be ready for that?
[822.6s] I'm ready, let's go.
[825.7s] Okay, yep, to keep your clothes on is probably a good idea.
[829.6s] We all look at Flint.
[834.1s] Why are you guys looking at me?
[836.1s] Oh, you know, you know.
[839.0s] That's fair.
[839.6s] Okay, well, what do you know about Faye and the Red Wizards?
[847.0s] Oh, nothing.
[849.8s] They're not good guys, from what I heard.
[854.7s] Yeah, I can't say anything really rings a bell.
[856.6s] They took the Frogland, the giant frog people.
[861.8s] I beg your pardon?
[863.3s] They, was this, maybe, I don't know.
[866.7s] What do you know about the Wizards of Faye?
[868.7s] Maybe you should fill us in on the Wizards of Faye,
[871.0s] I guess is what we're saying.
[872.9s] We'll circle back to the Frogland,
[875.0s] because I don't have that anywhere in my notes.
[877.5s] So Faye, why I ask is it's very isolated,
[883.2s] in that it is, you know, 2,500 miles to the east of Waterdeep.
[889.8s] Have any of you traveled beyond Faerun's borders?
[895.6s] Yep.
[896.6s] No.
[897.4s] No.
[898.9s] When did you travel?
[902.4s] I'll tell you guys about it later.
[904.9s] Okay, um.
[906.3s] Oh, wait, does traveling in different dimensions count?
[910.2s] Sure.
[911.2s] Oh, then yes.
[913.4s] Yes, then yes.
[914.6s] Great.
[915.2s] Yeah, absolutely.
[916.0s] But on this plane of reality?
[919.0s] No.
[919.5s] No.
[920.2s] No, you're like to stick to home base.
[922.1s] I get it, I get it.
[924.2s] So, it's a little unsettling when you go there.
[928.6s] It's dark, constantly,
[931.7s] because the whole region is just shrouded in volcanic ash.
[936.7s] Oh, so it's not like a Mr. Burns blocking out the sun situation?
[940.9s] Like a giant plate in the sky?
[942.6s] No.
[943.1s] I'm asking you that, Ross.
[944.4s] No, it's not like that.
[947.4s] No, no, it's not like that.
[948.9s] So it's not like that episode in The Simpsons.
[951.5s] The Simpsons is like, what?
[953.7s] And then Mr. Burns gets shot by a baby?
[956.1s] Exactly.
[956.7s] As improbable as that sounds.
[958.8s] It's improbable.
[961.0s] So this land.
[962.7s] Is your land.
[964.0s] This land is my land.
[966.9s] From Bonavista to Vancouver Island.
[971.9s] I wanted the American listeners to know
[974.0s] that we have a different version in Canada.
[975.8s] That's true, we do.
[976.6s] We have our own version.
[981.2s] Add it to Spotify.
[983.2s] Yeah, sorry, Ross.
[985.4s] Doing good with that Spotify list.
[987.8s] Yeah, sorry.
[988.4s] I couldn't help it.
[989.1s] You paused too long between this land.
[991.0s] He's working on how to describe things
[993.3s] to people who just keep interrupting them.
[995.2s] It's hard to relate to that.
[996.6s] Hey, I can't imagine what that would be like.
[999.3s] Super frustrating.
[1001.5s] I would imagine so, yeah.
[1005.4s] I don't think Russ has been able to say
[1007.0s] one complete sentence since he said...
[1012.6s] Do you think this is Russ's personal hell
[1015.0s] where we're constantly interrupting him
[1017.1s] and he's like, this is great, guys.
[1020.5s] This is what happens when I don't plan
[1022.6s] a whole hell of a lot and I just let you guys
[1024.8s] kind of do something.
[1026.0s] Oh, you're just letting us do this?
[1032.2s] Yeah, but that's normal for me.
[1034.3s] Well, I'm all sugar-coated.
[1037.2s] Okay, let's not get back to cookies.
[1039.4s] Okay, it's dark and it's always...
[1043.0s] Oh, oh, you guys, you guys.
[1045.7s] Russ has his ears folded in his lap.
[1048.9s] That's universal.
[1049.9s] I'm a bad guy.
[1051.0s] That is...
[1053.5s] Well, that's the...
[1054.6s] I'm just gonna wait till everyone's quiet.
[1056.6s] That's Russ actually expressing emotions
[1060.0s] the only way he knows how.
[1064.7s] By not doing anything but just not reacting.
[1067.3s] There's a series of hand gestures,
[1068.6s] very subtle hand gestures.
[1069.6s] It's shrouded in ash from volcanoes.
[1073.0s] Who here likes undead?
[1075.5s] Not me.
[1077.0s] I'm all right with it.
[1078.6s] They'll still fall under my axe.
[1080.6s] No, I'm gonna say no.
[1082.9s] Okay, well, prepare yourselves.
[1086.0s] This is a lot of undead.
[1088.2s] They...
[1088.9s] Are the wizards of Thay undead themselves?
[1093.8s] Or are they necromancers?
[1096.5s] Yeah.
[1097.0s] Okay, yep.
[1098.3s] Okay, so there's a large prevalence of undead
[1103.7s] within the borders.
[1105.2s] And the wizards of Thay,
[1107.7s] generally speaking,
[1109.9s] anyone and everyone of consequence
[1113.8s] is a spellcasting necromancer.
[1116.6s] Okay.
[1120.3s] And how open are they
[1125.0s] to the non-undead?
[1128.9s] Oh, they're fine.
[1130.2s] Okay.
[1131.0s] I mean, you are being brought there
[1133.9s] under negotiation circumstances.
[1138.3s] Oh, I'm pretty sure we excel
[1140.1s] at negotiating with people.
[1141.5s] We are very good diplomats.
[1144.2s] This is why we keep putting you
[1146.6s] our best foot forward
[1148.5s] towards these types of negotiations.
[1151.4s] You can't see it.
[1152.2s] A lot of questions out there.
[1153.4s] Imagine a world
[1155.3s] where we are the best diplomatic option.
[1159.4s] Oh, boy, what this world is.
[1161.7s] Might as well fire it into the sun.
[1163.0s] Holy shit.
[1164.2s] No wonder the cult has amassed
[1165.7s] so much power.
[1166.9s] Wowsers.
[1167.9s] I'm really worried
[1168.9s] about their decision-making skills
[1170.6s] and why we're following them.
[1172.2s] I have got questions.
[1172.9s] Very bad.
[1174.4s] The council is actually
[1177.0s] in favor of you
[1178.3s] and your decisions at this point.
[1180.8s] Quite heavily.
[1181.4s] So really, we're the last fucking option.
[1184.0s] They have no other option.
[1185.5s] Yeah.
[1186.2s] I'm sort of feeling that
[1187.7s] what's the Marx Brothers,
[1189.0s] like a no club
[1190.2s] I don't want to be a member
[1191.0s] of any club that would have me.
[1192.6s] Like, I don't want to make decisions
[1194.6s] for any organization
[1195.8s] that would let me make decisions.
[1197.2s] That's a bad idea.
[1199.8s] I get it.
[1201.4s] That said, you will be given
[1204.6s] and he pulls some papers out of his desk.
[1207.4s] I have managed to get these sealed warrants
[1211.5s] indicating that you are acting
[1213.3s] on behalf of the Lords of Waterdeep
[1215.4s] and the Lords Alliance.
[1217.3s] So is it like diplomatic immunity?
[1219.9s] In a sense, yes.
[1221.2s] You have protection from both of their guilds.
[1224.2s] So if anything were to happen to you
[1226.0s] while you were there
[1228.8s] and you did not make it back,
[1231.0s] they would act on your behalf
[1233.0s] and come to find out what happened justly.
[1237.0s] What?
[1238.1s] I'm sorry.
[1239.0s] I thought you were about to say something like,
[1241.4s] and if anything goes down
[1243.1s] and you feel like you're in danger
[1244.8s] and can't handle the situation,
[1246.7s] all you have to do is like
[1248.2s] rip this piece of paper in half
[1249.8s] and boom, you're going to be back in Waterdeep.
[1252.3s] But no.
[1253.4s] It's the, in the event that you're murdered,
[1255.5s] we'll come and investigate thusly.
[1258.2s] What the shit is that?
[1259.8s] I mean, you have the protection
[1261.6s] is what I'm saying.
[1262.4s] And the wizards-
[1263.2s] That's not protection!
[1264.1s] The wizards of Thay, they don't,
[1265.7s] the red wizards,
[1266.9s] they do not want to start things
[1269.9s] just to start things.
[1271.2s] They want to exist within their realm
[1274.3s] and they aren't going to do that.
[1276.0s] That said, don't leave where they
[1278.8s] tell you to stick to
[1281.4s] because the amount of undead
[1284.6s] and the amount of wizards,
[1288.2s] necromantic variety within the region
[1293.0s] is plentiful.
[1294.4s] Hey, I have a question.
[1295.5s] Yeah?
[1296.1s] Why are we going there again?
[1297.7s] Seems like a great question.
[1299.4s] The wizards of Thay
[1302.3s] that we have found to be
[1303.9s] helping the Cult of the Dragon.
[1306.6s] We have been approached and told
[1309.2s] that they are exiles
[1311.8s] of the true wizards of Thay.
[1314.3s] And the true wizards of Thay are
[1317.8s] run by a lich, Zaz Tam.
[1321.9s] You may or may not have heard of him.
[1323.4s] You may roll a d20 if you so desire.
[1325.6s] Oh, Zaz, he beats herself.
[1328.3s] Uh, is there any bonus?
[1330.1s] Wanna say history?
[1331.0s] History or arcana.
[1333.8s] Well, I'm gonna go for
[1336.0s] either one because they're both plus seven.
[1337.9s] Twenty-five.
[1339.3s] Damn.
[1339.8s] Damn.
[1341.4s] He means roll a hat tonight.
[1343.1s] Those scrolls in that.
[1346.3s] Library.
[1348.0s] Thea, you know that Zaz Tam
[1349.8s] was a very powerful lich
[1351.0s] and like was part of a big group.
[1354.3s] There's a whole bunch of history
[1355.3s] that you don't need to get into.
[1356.8s] But he is in charge of
[1363.3s] or it at this point is in charge
[1365.5s] of the red wizards of Thay.
[1369.4s] Anyways, it's a lich.
[1370.6s] It's very bad.
[1372.0s] Okay.
[1372.5s] Or very good if they're on your side.
[1375.3s] And so we're trying to get them,
[1377.0s] we're trying to get Zaz Tam
[1379.0s] to like hook up with the good guys.
[1381.9s] Say that.
[1382.4s] These guys aren't,
[1383.8s] these guys aren't doing,
[1385.6s] aren't helping.
[1388.6s] No, no.
[1389.1s] So far those guys are like the outcasts.
[1391.3s] The true.
[1392.3s] The ones that are helping
[1394.2s] the cult of the dragon.
[1395.4s] They are run by a gentleman named Rath Modar.
[1402.4s] You may have heard of him many moons ago.
[1405.0s] I won't.
[1406.1s] You have heard of him.
[1406.8s] Right.
[1407.0s] The wrath of Rath Modar.
[1408.5s] Right.
[1409.5s] Yes, it's in all the textbooks.
[1410.7s] Yeah.
[1412.4s] You've come across him.
[1413.4s] Anyway, long story short.
[1415.1s] They are run by Rath Modar
[1416.7s] who was exiled by the red wizards of Thay.
[1420.9s] For, I mean, if,
[1422.3s] if you can think of
[1423.7s] the red wizards to be super evil
[1427.1s] and, I mean, lawful in their own right,
[1432.6s] but evil.
[1434.3s] To, to know how bad they could turn it
[1437.4s] to be exiled by them
[1439.2s] is probably not a good thing.
[1441.3s] So they've gone off doing their own things
[1444.1s] and Zaz Tam and the red wizards of Thay
[1446.7s] in Thay want them dead.
[1449.6s] And they see that we have like means
[1456.8s] and like goals and motivations
[1459.9s] in stopping the cult of the dragon.
[1462.2s] He feels that if these red wizards
[1465.8s] were to help bring Tiamat
[1469.1s] to the material plane
[1472.4s] that they would gain more power
[1476.0s] than he is able to obtain.
[1478.2s] And he wants to stop that.
[1480.8s] The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
[1483.6s] So you will be brought to Thay
[1487.7s] by one of their wizards, Nye Ilmitch,
[1491.1s] who we have interrogated thoroughly.
[1494.7s] She will bring you there
[1496.2s] and you will be speaking
[1497.2s] with their head Tharchin,
[1499.0s] their leader of the region.
[1502.1s] Esseldra, yeah.
[1504.1s] One thing to note as I bring that up,
[1506.4s] any time you address someone,
[1509.4s] it is best to address them
[1511.0s] with both their title and their name.
[1515.0s] Just a little common courtesy amongst...
[1518.2s] This is going to go great, guys.
[1519.7s] It is because I remember names really well
[1522.5s] and I pronounce them impeccably.
[1526.6s] And she is the Tharchin
[1528.6s] of the Lapindrar region within Thay.
[1532.4s] You don't need to necessarily mention the region
[1535.1s] but Tharchin, Esseldra, yeah.
[1538.6s] What you probably want to call her.
[1541.0s] Yes.
[1542.4s] All right.
[1542.9s] Well, when do we leave?
[1544.5s] We were hoping that the council
[1545.8s] will be back from the nether mountains
[1548.7s] before you left for Thay,
[1550.3s] but they are not.
[1552.0s] So Lady Leryl Silverhand is here.
[1555.8s] Nobody else is.
[1558.6s] But you can leave at any point.
[1562.2s] Well, we were told that this was urgent
[1564.8s] and then we fucked off
[1565.8s] and did something that was actually a trap.
[1569.0s] I beg your pardon?
[1571.2s] What?
[1571.9s] Yeah, what?
[1573.0s] Oh, my God.
[1574.6s] Did we...
[1575.3s] God, Leosin, did we not tell you?
[1577.7s] No, you came back and said,
[1578.9s] hey, you want to party?
[1580.5s] And then we left.
[1581.3s] Oh, well, you know, priorities.
[1583.2s] But let's say we had a bad time
[1587.2s] and it was for nothing.
[1590.8s] Xanthos Tower handed our asses to us.
[1593.8s] Return.
[1594.3s] I got a wood mask.
[1596.5s] And the mask was a fake.
[1598.2s] So there's a double whammy of bad news for you.
[1601.4s] Sorry.
[1602.2s] Real shit sandwich.
[1604.2s] Yeah, with...
[1606.9s] Wow.
[1607.4s] Oh, and how do you know it's fake?
[1610.0s] Protanther said that it was bogus.
[1613.8s] Yeah, we tried to return it to Protanther
[1616.4s] as per our promises to the Dragon Council.
[1619.6s] And he gave us the bad news that...
[1625.0s] He laughed at us.
[1626.5s] Yeah.
[1627.2s] He was pretty unkind, actually.
[1629.6s] I mean, that seems consistent with his character.
[1633.7s] That is unfortunate.
[1636.2s] Any reason why they might have given you...
[1640.8s] Obviously not.
[1641.6s] Oh, I assume just to fuck with us.
[1644.6s] I was thinking murder was maybe on the agenda for them.
[1648.3s] Because that...
[1649.9s] I mean, it was a pretty good trap.
[1651.7s] But you made it through the maze.
[1653.9s] Well, eventually.
[1655.6s] Sure.
[1656.6s] But Iskander died.
[1657.8s] So I guess we don't know if Iskander knew it was fake.
[1660.4s] I assume he must have thought it was real, right?
[1663.6s] I mean, he died for it.
[1665.5s] That's true.
[1669.1s] All right.
[1669.4s] Well, that's a real blow.
[1670.6s] I'm going to have to write some notes about that.
[1672.2s] Is there anything we might need before we go to Thay that you can...
[1680.6s] Anything specific?
[1682.8s] Killing potions!
[1684.6s] Oh, yeah.
[1685.0s] I mean, we're going to have to pick up some of those.
[1687.0s] It's probably a really good idea.
[1688.3s] We don't have Thaddeus anymore.
[1690.0s] So we're going to stop by and pick up some things.
[1693.5s] But anything Thay specific?
[1698.2s] I mean, your wits about you...
[1702.2s] It's debatable.
[1705.2s] Touché?
[1706.5s] We'll do our best.
[1708.6s] Otherwise, I assume it will be a quick trip.
[1714.6s] You are there to speak with Tharchin Asseldra Yeth and try to find a common ground between us.
[1725.6s] I don't think it should take 12 weeks of episodes.
[1730.1s] So while this is happening, I have my belt and the scabbard with the dagger.
[1736.8s] So I don't want to say anything, because if I say anything, then Mr. Dagger Man, he's on to me.
[1743.6s] But I'm going to be standing awkwardly, really hands on my hips with my...
[1750.2s] Just really with a hip cocked towards the ocean.
[1754.2s] Like saddling, sidling up to him.
[1757.1s] Kind of, and just like really kind of standing in an awkward way with a hip kind of...
[1764.2s] Just to see if...
[1765.6s] You're going to do that thing where newly engaged women just like awkwardly have their hand out as like,
[1771.4s] huh?
[1772.3s] I don't want to say you need to look at this, but you need to look at this.
[1776.0s] Yes.
[1776.2s] So something like that to see if he might ask.
[1781.0s] And then I probably still don't really want to say anything, but maybe my friends will.
[1786.0s] I know I can't do anything.
[1787.9s] How fucking awkward new law is being.
[1790.0s] Like, let me do some kind of roll.
[1791.9s] Yeah, let's do a roll here.
[1794.5s] Looking over like...
[1795.6s] Do a pose roll for me.
[1796.9s] A high roll, you do what you want to.
[1799.9s] Oh, just a straight roll.
[1801.3s] No, hold on.
[1802.0s] Let's see if there's something that'll fit here.
[1803.0s] I was trying to see if there was like a thing.
[1804.7s] I mean, like performance.
[1807.0s] Persuasion or performance.
[1809.0s] I mean, I have no good pluses with either of those,
[1811.8s] but I don't know that anything else really makes sense.
[1816.0s] Probably not.
[1818.0s] So let's say performance.
[1820.0s] Maybe he thinks you're intimidating him?
[1822.0s] I don't have good intimidate.
[1824.0s] Those are all just plus ones.
[1825.2s] So I mean, anything I think that could apply is like a plus one anyway.
[1830.6s] It's not great, but just to see, because I know I can't say anything
[1835.7s] because he definitely, he the dagger, definitely knows what's up.
[1840.6s] Oh my God.
[1841.7s] Well, I rolled a two, so.
[1843.7s] I guess that's a three.
[1845.7s] So yeah, low is good, right?
[1847.7s] Oh my God.
[1849.7s] No, I was going to say a high roll.
[1851.7s] People see what you're doing.
[1853.7s] Low roll, they think you're just weird.
[1855.7s] People just think I'm just standing off.
[1857.7s] Like I have to pee or something.
[1859.7s] So yeah, I mean, he sees you kind of just
[1862.7s] articulating towards him or whatever you're doing.
[1866.7s] And he seems to be trying to catch eyes with somebody else.
[1872.7s] It's fair.
[1874.7s] Can I notice?
[1876.7s] Can I?
[1878.7s] No.
[1880.7s] My roll was so shitty.
[1882.7s] Everyone sees me, but they're not cluing in that that's what I'm doing.
[1886.7s] They just think I'm being a total weirdo.
[1888.7s] Yeah, just like, what is her problem?
[1890.7s] Can I look at Leosin and see his confusion and uncomfortableness?
[1896.7s] There must be a lull in the conversation.
[1899.7s] Ariel just standing around, not talking.
[1901.7s] No, I don't assume you guys are still talking, but New Laura's like.
[1906.7s] Exactly.
[1908.7s] Like honestly, it probably just looks like I have to pee.
[1911.7s] Yes, like it's just I'm just like squirming around.
[1914.7s] Trying to like helicopter this weight around.
[1918.7s] She's like sitting on the edge of the desk, just like, yeah.
[1922.7s] Turns her chair around backwards, puts her hat on backwards.
[1925.7s] Long story short, nobody's noticing because roll was so bad.
[1931.7s] Yeah, it was so bad.
[1932.7s] All right.
[1933.7s] Well, Leosin, is there anywhere that we need to go?
[1935.7s] Like, obviously we're going to stop and get healing potions.
[1937.7s] How many?
[1939.7s] All of them.
[1940.7s] You haven't been there yet.
[1941.7s] All of them?
[1942.7s] You haven't been there yet.
[1943.7s] Forty of them.
[1944.7s] All right.
[1945.7s] We're going to go and get healing potions.
[1946.7s] But then after that, where should we head?
[1947.7s] Who should we talk to to kind of like.
[1949.7s] Well, I will.
[1951.7s] You go get what you feel you need for materials and supplies.
[1957.7s] I will go tell Lady Laryl Silverhand and Nye Ilmich that you are ready to go.
[1964.7s] They have been waiting for your return or at least Nye has.
[1970.7s] And she will prepare the teleportation ritual and you shall be ready to go.
[1977.7s] There is a teleportation circle chamber just up the way.
[1983.7s] Follow the signs.
[1984.7s] You know where it is.
[1985.7s] I get it.
[1986.7s] You've been here enough that you've kind of been through a lot of the areas.
[1992.7s] All right.
[1993.7s] Well, Leosin, thank you.
[1994.7s] Thanks, Leosin.
[1997.7s] Be well and we'll see you soon.
[2001.7s] Hopefully we come back from this trip with better news than Zanthal's Tower.
[2006.7s] As do I, because I feel that the final battle is knocking at our door.
[2012.7s] And after we find out if they will help us or not, arrangements will need to be made for a full scale assault.
[2022.7s] Fucking go time, people.
[2024.7s] Come and knock on our door.
[2027.7s] We've been waiting for war.
[2032.7s] Where the murder is.
[2033.7s] You and you and you.
[2037.7s] And here I am at two.
[2040.7s] That's a good wrap.
[2041.7s] I was thinking about it.
[2042.7s] Yes, I'm here.
[2043.7s] I guess I may have dragon's doubt.
[2047.7s] Where do you go?
[2048.7s] What do you do?
[2049.7s] I want to go to the potion slash armory.
[2055.7s] Yeah, so we definitely need some more healing potions, especially with no Thaddeus.
[2060.7s] Also, we've used them all.
[2062.7s] At least I have.
[2063.7s] Also, we totally need to remember about our healing surges.
[2067.7s] Yes.
[2068.7s] And we need to remember that Thea has heal as a spell, which is you regain 70 hit points for one creature.
[2080.7s] We just need to remember everything, guys.
[2082.7s] We need to be better at remembering.
[2083.7s] Yeah, as a general rule, just remember better.
[2088.7s] So maybe I'm not going to be dealing a lot of damage.
[2091.7s] I can heal at least three times.
[2094.7s] And you have that fucking firestorm now.
[2096.7s] Yeah, that firestorm is going to be dope.
[2098.7s] Okay, so let's go, yeah, I guess to like the armory.
[2102.7s] The Suppliery.
[2104.7s] Suppliery.
[2105.7s] The stuff is for Essary.
[2107.7s] Can we stop by the Haberdasher too?
[2109.7s] Yeah.
[2110.7s] You want a new hat to go with that?
[2112.7s] Maybe Bort likes a different look.
[2116.7s] So you go to the armory slash potions place.
[2119.7s] It's called...
[2122.7s] Armory slash potions place.
[2124.7s] It's called Armory and Potions Plus.
[2127.7s] Oh, so we're going retail.
[2129.7s] Well, I mean, it's within the Council of Waterdeep buildings.
[2134.7s] You probably got a tab somewhere.
[2136.7s] Perfect.
[2137.7s] And you head in there, and I don't know if you guys have actually been there or...
[2141.7s] You've probably never been there.
[2142.7s] It's fine.
[2143.7s] You've never been there.
[2144.7s] And you go in and there's a very pale figure standing in a very white...
[2152.7s] Looks like a lab coat, but has a very high collar.
[2156.7s] Is he a pharmacist?
[2157.7s] Very slicked down, blacked hair.
[2160.7s] And he sees you enter and he says, hello.
[2163.7s] Hello.
[2165.7s] Yes.
[2166.7s] Nularaaaa, Thea, and Flint.
[2170.7s] Oh, you have us at a disadvantage.
[2174.7s] Who are you, sir?
[2175.7s] Arvid.
[2176.7s] Arvid of Innistrad.
[2178.7s] Oh, hey there, Arvid.
[2180.7s] Hello, Arvid.
[2181.7s] Yes.
[2182.7s] You have come here for supplies?
[2185.7s] Supplies, yes.
[2187.7s] Yes.
[2188.7s] Healing.
[2190.7s] We need your best, most strongest healing potions.
[2197.7s] The best, most strongest.
[2199.7s] We've had a rare healing potion before.
[2201.7s] That was pretty good.
[2203.7s] I believe there was even an uncommon healing potion.
[2207.7s] That was even better.
[2208.7s] I don't think it was.
[2209.7s] Probably not.
[2210.7s] I think the rare one was better.
[2211.7s] Sorry, Tom, as an aside, I still have three uncommon healing potions and my zero rare.
[2217.7s] Yeah, that's fine.
[2218.7s] So I used the rare ones and I was trying to save my friend after I'd stabbed him.
[2222.7s] So now I feel like I pulled out the good ones.
[2224.7s] A lot of backstory here, but good that I know what you are here for.
[2232.7s] So you need some potions.
[2234.7s] Yes, please.
[2235.7s] How many would you like?
[2236.7s] How many can we get?
[2240.7s] Where are you going?
[2242.7s] Fae?
[2244.7s] It's very dangerous.
[2248.7s] Yes, yes, I've been.
[2251.7s] Oh.
[2252.7s] Let me see.
[2253.7s] He begins flipping through a big book, a big ledger.
[2256.7s] I can probably give you each.
[2261.7s] He looks at you very cautiously.
[2264.7s] Three.
[2266.7s] Four.
[2268.7s] Five.
[2270.7s] I was going to say knowing five.
[2273.7s] I'm not sure how barbering works.
[2277.7s] Nine.
[2280.7s] I can give you each three of the rare potions you desire and some others if you have room for them.
[2291.7s] Every time I hit the plus button, it seems like I have unlimited amount of room for equipment.
[2299.7s] Do you have anything else you've been to Fae?
[2301.7s] This is rare.
[2302.7s] Do you have any other insight into things that may help us while we are there?
[2311.7s] Are you going to see the sights?
[2315.7s] No.
[2316.7s] No, business meeting, business travel.
[2319.7s] Business not personal.
[2321.7s] Well, if you're sticking to the head governor buildings, you shouldn't need much.
[2328.7s] And being that you are hopefully being brought there, there shouldn't be much along your way that you need.
[2336.7s] Sorry.
[2337.7s] What kind of healing potions are these again?
[2341.7s] Rare.
[2342.7s] Rare healing potions.
[2343.7s] They're rare.
[2344.7s] They're super rare.
[2345.7s] Super rare.
[2346.7s] But they still only have the same stats.
[2348.7s] Three yellow potions.
[2350.7s] The yellow ones are special for you, my dear.
[2355.7s] No, thank you.
[2357.7s] What's the rare healing potion again?
[2360.7s] It's 84 plus 8.
[2364.7s] All right.
[2365.7s] Well, thank you.
[2368.7s] You're welcome.
[2371.7s] Put it on our tab.
[2374.7s] Of course.
[2375.7s] No payment today.
[2377.7s] Good.
[2378.7s] I shall see about that.
[2380.7s] He hands you the potions.
[2382.7s] Anything else?
[2384.7s] Do you have any pinky mice?
[2387.7s] By pinky mice I mean large rats.
[2389.7s] Do you have any rats?
[2391.7s] Dead rats.
[2392.7s] Dead rats.
[2395.7s] For a potion or spell?
[2397.7s] No, food.
[2400.7s] I have a giant owl and I have to give her some treats every now and again.
[2405.7s] Where is your owl?
[2407.7s] I see a dragon.
[2408.7s] I rummage in my pocket and I pull out my serpentine.
[2413.7s] My jade figurine there.
[2416.7s] You know they require no sustenance.
[2419.7s] It does mean she doesn't like it.
[2421.7s] Okay.
[2422.7s] Let me see.
[2424.7s] He goes in the back.
[2425.7s] He comes out.
[2426.7s] How many would you like?
[2428.7s] I knew it.
[2430.7s] Ten.
[2431.7s] Five, please.
[2432.7s] I have four.
[2433.7s] I'll take four.
[2436.7s] Why would you mask?
[2438.7s] Well, if he said one, he could have just met your needs.
[2441.7s] He comes out with a brown paper bag.
[2445.7s] There's no plastic here.
[2447.7s] He has some tongs.
[2449.7s] He's just holding an O to you.
[2451.7s] I literally just caught these in the back like just right now.
[2454.7s] Super fresh.
[2455.7s] He hands them to you.
[2457.7s] Thanks.
[2458.7s] I put them in my bag.
[2459.7s] Nobody wants to be around me.
[2461.7s] Any other small rodents that he looks towards Donnie?
[2464.7s] No, I don't think so.
[2466.7s] Donnie, he's cool.
[2468.7s] Yeah, no rats.
[2469.7s] He takes care of himself.
[2471.7s] Yeah.
[2472.7s] All right.
[2473.7s] Well, any other strange requests?
[2475.7s] No, man.
[2476.7s] I'm good.
[2477.7s] Thanks so much.
[2478.7s] You quiet, sir.
[2479.7s] Anything for you?
[2480.7s] No, no, I don't think so.
[2482.7s] Nothing comes to mind anyway.
[2486.7s] All right.
[2488.7s] Stay cool.
[2491.7s] Donnie boy?
[2493.7s] You too?
[2494.7s] You stay cool too.
[2497.7s] It's a bit nice to meet you.
[2500.7s] I feel like we will become good friends.
[2503.7s] I mean, there's every possibility we'll die and fade.
[2506.7s] But if that doesn't happen, maybe we'll hang out when we get back.
[2510.7s] We're inching toward the door.
[2511.7s] Oh, yeah.
[2512.7s] We're backing toward it.
[2515.7s] He's very unsettling.
[2517.7s] I feel he's just staring at us as we're walking backwards.
[2520.7s] Do you see him with a smile on his face?
[2521.7s] No.
[2522.7s] Oh, that's even more unsettling.
[2524.7s] Okay, bye.
[2525.7s] Bye.
[2526.7s] Yep, we go.
[2529.7s] Yeesh.
[2530.7s] I assume you head towards the teleportation chamber.
[2532.7s] Yeah, and as we do, we talk about how weird that interaction was.
[2535.7s] Yeah, that guy was unsettling, right?
[2538.7s] Oh, yeah, he's a little different.
[2540.7s] I mean, he went to Faye for fun, right?
[2544.7s] Yeah, like sightseeing?
[2546.7s] I don't think people do that.
[2547.7s] No.
[2548.7s] He loves that ashy skyline, I guess.
[2550.7s] Yes, I don't know.
[2551.7s] I approve of it.
[2553.7s] Okay, the heebie-jeebies.
[2558.7s] I only have four.
[2563.7s] How would you want?
[2564.7s] I'll just say one less, whatever you ask.
[2572.7s] I love how jovial we are on the way to the transportation room.
[2575.7s] Exactly.
[2576.7s] Well, you know.
[2577.7s] You've made it, unless you wish to keep making fun of them.
[2581.7s] That's good.
[2586.7s] Well, hello there.
[2587.7s] I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
[2588.7s] Thank you for joining us for episode 63 of Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2592.7s] On the way to Faye.
[2595.7s] We really hope you're enjoying the episode so far.
[2597.7s] We've had the chance story-wise here to put the role-playing of our characters
[2601.7s] much more front and center.
[2603.7s] And let me tell you, we're having a blast doing it.
[2605.7s] We're recorded a little bit ahead now,
[2607.7s] gearing up for the Christmas and New Year's Blitz
[2609.7s] Everyone wants to focus a little more on family time
[2611.7s] than recording podcast time, which is definitely understandable.
[2614.7s] And we think, and hope that you do too,
[2617.7s] that some of our best, most fun episodes are coming your way
[2620.7s] before the New Year arrives.
[2622.7s] We invite you to check out our Patreon community
[2625.7s] over at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[2628.7s] If you're unaware how Patreon works,
[2630.7s] it's a creator patron-driven platform
[2634.7s] where you, as a supporter of a show, artist, or content creator,
[2638.7s] can choose to become a part of their inner circle,
[2641.7s] the closest-knit people within their community.
[2643.7s] And by doing so, you get special access to really awesome rewards,
[2646.7s] bonus episodes, live-streamed hangout sessions,
[2649.7s] and other really amazing perks
[2651.7s] that give you something a little extra for supporting the content
[2654.7s] that you already love and listen to.
[2656.7s] Even just a dollar a month from our patrons
[2658.7s] has allowed us to do some amazing things,
[2660.7s] like buy new equipment, expand our music and sound effects library,
[2663.7s] and pay for some of the expenses to fly all four of us
[2666.7s] to get together at PodCon in Seattle this January,
[2669.7s] which we are super stoked about.
[2671.7s] Like the episode dedications off the top,
[2673.7s] you have the chance to name an NPC in the game when you're a patron,
[2677.7s] like today's new character, Arvid of Innistrad,
[2680.7s] who was named by Richard Lorenz on Patreon.
[2683.7s] Thank you, Richard. I hope you like Arvid.
[2686.7s] He'll definitely be back to have some super fun interactions with the team.
[2690.7s] We'd love to have you be a part of this community,
[2692.7s] and if you're interested to check out all the details
[2694.7s] at Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[2697.7s] And thanks to Sirenscape.
[2699.7s] For some of the amazing atmosphere that you heard today,
[2701.7s] make sure you check them out at sirenscape.com
[2704.7s] to bring your games to life.
[2706.7s] Links for everything mentioned today can be found in the description,
[2709.7s] and the next episode will be out Wednesday, November 28th.
[2713.7s] But now that I've successfully weirded out the players
[2715.7s] with our new NPC, Arvid,
[2717.7s] let's see if they can make it to Thay and negotiate with some wizards.
[2721.7s] Have a great week. We'll talk soon.
[2729.7s] Yes, you make it to the teleportation chamber.
[2731.7s] The door is open and you step in,
[2733.7s] and Leosin and Lady Leral Silverhand,
[2735.7s] and an unknown person who you can assume is Nye Ilmich.
[2738.7s] Shh.
[2739.7s] Hey, you're pharmacist guy at the Weapons Plus?
[2743.7s] Yeah, Arvid?
[2745.7s] That guy's, he's pretty weird, hey?
[2748.7s] He just started last week.
[2749.7s] He has a very off-putting personality.
[2752.7s] He is unsettling.
[2754.7s] And that's coming from us.
[2756.7s] So...
[2758.7s] I get it. We've been working.
[2760.7s] I mean, we've heard some complaints.
[2762.7s] We've been working with him on some classes.
[2765.7s] I mean, he gave us what we needed.
[2767.7s] He wasn't unpleasant.
[2770.7s] It was just unpleasant.
[2772.7s] You might want to revisit your HR hiring policy, that's all.
[2775.7s] During the end of the world,
[2777.7s] we don't have much of an HR policy.
[2780.7s] So much as whoever's gonna do the job.
[2784.7s] That's fair.
[2785.7s] Well, really though, I'd like to say
[2787.7s] that the minute we start breaking down
[2790.7s] the way our society is functioning,
[2792.7s] we're already letting them win.
[2795.7s] They've already won.
[2797.7s] Alright, well, I'll talk to them.
[2799.7s] Yeah, but don't say that it was us.
[2801.7s] Oh my god.
[2803.7s] Like, don't go there right now.
[2805.7s] No, oh god, no.
[2807.7s] Do you have some pointers for him?
[2809.7s] Something specifically to work on?
[2811.7s] I don't know, just don't be so creepy.
[2813.7s] Okay.
[2815.7s] I don't know if it's in him.
[2817.7s] I don't know if he can do it.
[2819.7s] I turn to the unknown person.
[2822.7s] And say,
[2824.7s] I'm Nulara.
[2826.7s] And hold out my hand.
[2828.7s] She looks at your hand and looks at you.
[2832.7s] All three of you kind of over.
[2834.7s] I say, I'm the Amistacia,
[2836.7s] and I bow respectfully,
[2839.7s] not wanting to touch the hand of a necromancer.
[2842.7s] What's wrong with you, Nulara?
[2844.7s] Well...
[2846.7s] She reaches out and grabs your hand
[2850.7s] and shakes it.
[2852.7s] It's a cold hand, you notice.
[2854.7s] And Lady Leral Silverhand says,
[2858.7s] So, unless there's anything else we can help with,
[2862.7s] you have all been briefed as to what you are hoping to do?
[2867.7s] Oh, yeah, mhm.
[2869.7s] You leave me with confidence, Thea.
[2872.7s] So much confidence.
[2874.7s] You know how we roll, we'll get the job done.
[2878.7s] Leosin, Lady Silverhand,
[2880.7s] could we speak to you just very, very briefly?
[2884.7s] Of course.
[2886.7s] Privately.
[2888.7s] So, I assume we, like, move away.
[2892.7s] Yeah, you kind of shuffle out of the room.
[2894.7s] Do we, as when we saw the Dragon Council,
[2897.7s] have authority to make a deal with these people?
[2902.7s] I've gone into this assuming we do,
[2905.7s] but best to have clarification before we go.
[2909.7s] Of course.
[2911.7s] You are perhaps some of the best to speak on our behalf.
[2917.7s] I see doubt in your eyes.
[2920.7s] I'm just shaking right now.
[2922.7s] Your allegiances lie to the people,
[2926.7s] whereas the delegates of the council,
[2929.7s] their allegiances lie with their own region.
[2934.7s] And they will do what's best for them and their own.
[2938.7s] You have nothing tying you to anyone.
[2945.7s] Which, as sad as that may sound, is a good thing.
[2949.7s] It does sound sad when you put it that way.
[2950.7s] It does sound real sad.
[2951.7s] Well, we have ties to each other, guys.
[2954.7s] Well, that's true.
[2955.7s] Oh, that's, like, the most affectionate thing
[2958.7s] I think I've ever heard you, Lara, say.
[2961.7s] Holy man.
[2964.7s] But you are the most prepared
[2966.7s] to talk about Faerun as a whole.
[2971.7s] And we need that right now.
[2975.7s] This place is such a hole.
[2979.7s] Don't worry.
[2983.7s] We know what's at stake.
[2985.7s] I hope that your trip will be quick and successful.
[2988.7s] Leosun has filled me in on the unsuccesses,
[2991.7s] not through your own fault, of Byzantos Tower,
[2995.7s] which sets us further back than we were hoping
[2998.7s] with that endeavor.
[3000.7s] I wish you safe travels and hope to see you again soon.
[3005.7s] Well, we'll do the best we can for you.
[3007.7s] It's not much of a promise, but it is true.
[3009.7s] Yeah, it's true. We always do our best.
[3012.7s] We always do our best.
[3014.7s] So you head back into the teleportation chamber,
[3017.7s] and Naya Elmitch is standing there,
[3019.7s] and Leosun and Lady Lara Silverhand
[3023.7s] leave and close the door, and she says,
[3025.7s] Are you ready?
[3028.7s] No, but let's do this anyway.
[3031.7s] Alright.
[3035.7s] And she begins a ritual,
[3038.7s] and begins moving her hands and speaking a chant,
[3043.7s] and the room begins spinning with a glowing energy.
[3059.7s] And after a few moments, it builds up and intensifies,
[3064.7s] and you four see nothing for a moment.
[3069.7s] You quickly arrive into a luxurious chamber,
[3075.7s] and there are five, what you can assume as guards,
[3080.7s] but you know them as wights.
[3083.7s] You see them standing guard within this room,
[3085.7s] and they turn to look at you,
[3088.7s] and Naya looks at you, and she says,
[3090.7s] I will lead you to your chambers,
[3093.7s] and Tharchian Iseldra Yef will see you as soon as is possible.
[3101.7s] I will go let her know of your arrival.
[3105.7s] She leads you into a hallway,
[3109.7s] and it's filled with luxurious tapestries,
[3113.7s] and you walk down, and she leads you to three rooms.
[3118.7s] She says, These are your chambers.
[3121.7s] Thanks for the escort there, Naya Elmint.
[3125.7s] Thank you.
[3126.7s] She waits until you enter your rooms.
[3131.7s] I'll be the first one who enters my room.
[3134.7s] I want to see if it's themed.
[3136.7s] Oh, are they themed rooms?
[3138.7s] Are they underwater themed?
[3141.7s] Jungle themed?
[3143.7s] Arabian Nights themed?
[3145.7s] Are we just listing prom themes?
[3147.7s] Yeah.
[3149.7s] Sure.
[3151.7s] What theme do you want?
[3153.7s] Oh my god.
[3154.7s] Arabian Nights, now that it's been said.
[3156.7s] Yeah, you enter, and it looks like a lot of...
[3160.7s] It is a very luxurious room.
[3162.7s] It's got a huge bed.
[3164.7s] It's got huge furniture.
[3166.7s] It's got lots of silks and tapestries that look like they're from Chult.
[3171.7s] It looks like this room has been designed to look like someone of royalty lives here,
[3177.7s] but has specifically been designed from this region.
[3181.7s] Oh, I crawl onto the giant, like, super overly soft bed
[3185.7s] that no one would really ever comfortably sleep on, but they definitely will.
[3189.7s] I like just like, mmm, like, tummy down.
[3194.7s] You do that.
[3195.7s] Yeah, roll around on the bed.
[3197.7s] Nulara.
[3199.7s] I go in my room, and I'm hoping it's like, northern themed,
[3203.7s] so like, kind of stark, but with lots of furs everywhere,
[3207.7s] and like, you know, sumptuous warmth, a big hearth, you know.
[3212.7s] You enter your room, and there is a raging fire within the fireplace.
[3218.7s] It is filling the room with so much heat.
[3222.7s] The walls themselves look like they're made from ice,
[3226.7s] and there's huge bearskin rugs, and fur-covered bed, and blankets.
[3232.7s] It looks like it's pulled directly from a luxuriously imagined Frost Giants lair.
[3240.7s] Yes, fun.
[3242.7s] Clink board.
[3244.7s] So, as I wait for their doors to close, once I hear them close,
[3249.7s] I turn to Nihilmitch.
[3251.7s] I say, uh, you guys are all necromancers, right?
[3255.7s] That's the deal around here.
[3257.7s] Do you have any experience with, like, souls being trapped in bodies,
[3262.7s] and how to fix that?
[3264.7s] You have an issue, don't you?
[3266.7s] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you might, uh, you might say that.
[3270.7s] Yeah, my name's Borgs.
[3272.7s] Uh, I've been trapped in this dwarf's body for a while now,
[3275.7s] and I want to...
[3277.7s] There may be something we can do for you.
[3279.7s] Roll a d20.
[3284.7s] That is a 14.
[3286.7s] You are Flint again.
[3288.7s] Sorry, Flint here now.
[3290.7s] Uh, just switched, uh, switched back control.
[3293.7s] Uh, but yeah, I would like him out of my head.
[3295.7s] That would be, that would be amazing.
[3297.7s] Okay.
[3299.7s] We will, um, see how the talks go,
[3303.7s] and then maybe there is something we can do for the two of you.
[3307.7s] Okay, I, I appreciate that a lot.
[3310.7s] Thank you, Nahihilmitch.
[3312.7s] She gives you a nod and extends her hand to your room.
[3316.7s] Uh, I would like it to be, like, uh, an elven, like,
[3320.7s] plush forest with, like, a bunch of moss
[3323.7s] and really comfortable things around,
[3325.7s] because that's like, that's not what I'm used to,
[3327.7s] but it's always been like a dream.
[3329.7s] That's like the exact opposite of what a dwarf would wish for,
[3331.7s] but okay, I like it. Yep.
[3333.7s] But it's unlike your dwarf in Lord of the Rings
[3335.7s] that saw this awesome elven place
[3337.7s] and then was, like, secretly obsessed with it.
[3339.7s] Truth.
[3341.7s] Uh, you step through your door,
[3343.7s] and you, you're unexpectedly taken aback
[3346.7s] when you step onto a wooden bridge.
[3349.7s] It kind of gives underneath you as you step out onto it,
[3352.7s] and it leads across to a giant treehouse hut.
[3357.7s] Don't talk about it.
[3359.7s] And in there is, again, one of the most luxurious beds
[3362.7s] and an open-air feel to it.
[3365.7s] Um, you hear birds calling off in the distance,
[3368.7s] and you feel like this is one of the most fantastic places
[3373.7s] that you could be at this moment.
[3390.7s] Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod
[3393.7s] of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
[3396.7s] Did you read it on my page?
[3398.7s] No. I was going to say the same thing.
[3400.7s] It's a very famous quote, Roscoe.
[3402.7s] Ah! What are the headings of his thing?
[3404.7s] It's the enemy of my enemy.
[3406.7s] Perfect.
[3408.7s] Just heads up, out of game,
[3410.7s] I will be asking you for that every single time
[3412.7s] I need to talk to you people.
[3414.7s] All right. One time you'll forget.
[3416.7s] It's going to be so good.
[3418.7s] It's going to be so bad.
[3420.7s] Did I ever tell you guys about the fortune cookie?
[3424.7s] Uh, no, seriously.
[3426.7s] I love this already. I love it already.
[3428.7s] It's amazing.
[3430.7s] I'm ready.
[3432.7s] It's good. I got to look something up, so it's fine.
[3434.7s] A fortune cookie that said...
[3438.7s] It's so funny. I can't believe it's real.
[3440.7s] Oh, my God. I love it.
[3442.7s] It said, try a new hat for a change in looks.
[3445.7s] Be creative.
[3447.7s] That's amazing.
[3449.7s] What?
[3451.7s] It's the best one I'd ever seen.
[3453.7s] Back to cookies.
[3455.7s] Have I ever told you guys about the time I made
[3457.7s] homemade fortune cookies?
[3459.7s] No, that's fun.
[3461.7s] Turns out it's a giant pain in the ass
[3463.7s] and I'm never doing it again, but it was fun.
[3465.7s] There's a reason why it's done by Big Machines.
[3467.7s] When I went to San Francisco,
[3469.7s] I got to see...
[3471.7s] I went in for a fortune cookie factory tour.
[3473.7s] That's awesome.
[3475.7s] That thing is just like...
[3477.7s] And then through the steamroller.
[3479.7s] That makes sense.
[3481.7s] And then the little Chinese people were...
[3485.7s] Also, I tried making homemade wontons
[3487.7s] and that was terrible.
[3489.7s] I made pierogies at home once
[3491.7s] and it was really fun,
[3493.7s] but they were less good
[3495.7s] than the good quality purchased
[3497.7s] pierogies and it took
[3499.7s] a very long time, so I didn't
[3501.7s] do that again.
[3503.7s] I could buy them from the Ukrainian...
[3505.7s] cute Ukrainian ladies
[3507.7s] that sell them at the Ukrainian church.
[3509.7s] My brother is a chef
[3511.7s] and he gave me a recipe for
[3513.7s] sweet potato pierogies.
[3515.7s] The actual dough itself is made from
[3517.7s] sweet potato. It's literally
[3519.7s] two... I think it was
[3521.7s] two ingredients.
[3523.7s] Potato and sweet potato.
[3525.7s] Well, no, the dough itself.
[3527.7s] I think it's just sweet potato and
[3529.7s] sour cream or sweet potato and cream cheese.
[3531.7s] Something like that. It blew my mind.
[3533.7s] Great. You shared that recipe too.
[3535.7s] That sounds great. I will have to ask
[3537.7s] him again and he'll be like, Amy, that was like 11
[3539.7s] years ago. What are you talking about?
[3541.7s] He'll know. He'll know exactly what you're
[3543.7s] talking about. Find it immediately.
[3545.7s] Alright, we're ready.
[3547.7s] I wish for safe travel.
[3549.7s] I wish for safe travels.
[3555.7s] Sorry, my medication's wearing off.
[3557.7s] Holy shit.
[3563.7s] I wish you safe.
[3577.7s] And you quickly come
[3579.7s] into...
[3581.7s] You quickly arrive into...
[3583.7s] Fuck off.
[3585.7s] I really need to give her
[3587.7s] so much.
[3589.7s] It's too much.
[3597.7s] Amy's so tired.
[3599.7s] She just does too much for her.
[3601.7s] The giggles have
[3603.7s] started and it's just one more minute
[3605.7s] you have to wait, I bet. But it's impossible.
[3607.7s] I've so been there. I'm sorry, Amy.
[3611.7s] What would all my room to be, guys? You guys already took such
[3613.7s] a good one. It's like clowns, maybe?
[3615.7s] It's probably clowns.
[3617.7s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a
[3619.7s] Dumb Dragons production.